Losing in Love: The $1 billion Romance Scam Industry

Valentine’s day is a great time for many people, however, for many who are lonely because they have lost a loved one, or are single for whatever reason, this can also be a time of depression and a reminder of their loss. Our older generations can be especially prone to feelings of loneliness and loss as they age and lose people close to them to the effects of time. The National Institute on Aging says, “Older adults are at higher risk for social isolation and loneliness due to changes in health and social connections that can come with growing older, hearing, vision, and memory loss, disability, trouble getting around, and/or the loss of family and friends”. As we age, we also tend to suffer from cognitive decline, adding another area the bad actors can exploit.  

Unfortunately, cybercriminals know this and love to take advantage of these emotions, using them to lure people into scams. Romance scams are not new, but they are big business, so scammers are willing to invest time into the attacks. There was a reported loss of $1.14B to romance scams in 2023 with median losses of roughly $2,000 per victim. With potential earnings like that, it is no wonder the scams are so popular.

Romance scams typically start with an unassuming email or text message, often said to have been meant for someone else. If the victim replies, the scammers will often start to converse with the victim, giving them compliments and making them feel good about themselves. This complimentary discussion serves to build an emotional bond between the scammer and victim, which manifests in the form of trust. Once trust is established, there are a few ways the scammers proceed. In some cases, they claim to have suffered a hardship of some sort, a loss of job, illness, etc., and petition the victim for a ‘loan’ to help them out during this tough time. In other cases, the scammers may tell the victim that they are coming to see them, then claim that when they reach the country the victim resides in, that they had a problem with their visa and need to borrow some funds to correct the issue. No matter what the story is, the money is never seen again.

Depending on the scam, the attacker may try to drag out the relationship as long as possible, stoking the feel of romance and exploiting the victim as much as possible. In the beginning, the amount borrowed might be small amounts, and may even be repaid to further establish trust, however, the amount requested by that scammer will quickly grow as they grab as much money as they can from the victim. Eventually the victims generally realize the relationship is a scam, but often this is after they have suffered some significant losses.

Romance scams work because the victim wants to believe they have found someone they can have a friendship and, perhaps a romantic relationship, with. We all want to be loved and to love others, so the emotional tug is strong. Victims often overlook the signs of the scam that are obvious to others because they are so emotionally involved. Even when they begin to suspect a problem, they will often talk themselves out of breaking off the relationship because the scammers make them feel good about themselves and fill the hole that loneliness has left.

When the victim does finally accept that the relationship was a scam, they are often embarrassed, feel foolish, and can be horribly depressed. The scammer simply moves on to another target.

In the past, scammers would often steal another person’s identity and use their photos and bio as the basis of their scam. While this is still common, the evolution of generative AI has allowed scammers to generate entire synthetic personas, complete with photos, videos and audio capabilities, and use those to contact the victims. These personas can be extremely hard to tell from a legitimate online profile, giving the scammers a great tool to use against unwitting victims.

Spotting these scams before they get started is critical. People should be wary of any unsolicited messages they get and rather than engage with the sender, should simply delete the message. People should also be extremely cautious with anyone asking to borrow money, send money for plane tickets, or ask for anything of value. When denied, scammers will often become very aggressive and will try to leverage the emotions they have fostered to get the victim to give in.

Educating people about these scams and how they work is a very important step in avoiding them. If you have elderly friends or family, be sure to warn them about this type of scam and offer them a resource to call if they start to feel uncomfortable about anything. You could be the difference between someone you care about being a victim or staying safe.

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Erich Kron is a Security Awareness Advocate at KnowBe4. He is a veteran information security professional with over 25 years’ experience in the medical, aerospace manufacturing and defense fields, author, and regular contributor to cybersecurity industry publications. He is the former security manager for the US Army’s 2nd Regional Cyber Center-Western Hemisphere and holds CISSP, CISSP-ISSAP, SACP and many other certifications.

 

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