From COBOL to chaos: Elon Musk, DOGE, and the Evil Housekeeper Problem

It’s incredibly hard to protect a system from someone—the evil housekeeper from DOGE—who has made their way inside and wants to wreck it. This administration is on the record as wanting to outright delete entire departments. Accelerationists are not only setting policy but implementing it by working within the administration. If you can’t delete a department, then why not just break it until it doesn’t work? 

That’s why what DOGE is doing is a massive, terrifying problem, and one I talked through earlier in a thread on Bluesky. 

Government is built to be stable. Collectively, we put systems and rules in place to ensure that stability. But whether they actually deliver and preserve stability in the real world isn’t actually about the technology used; it’s about the people using it. When it comes down to it, technology is a tool to be used by humans for human ends. The software used to run our democratically elected government is deployed to accomplish goals tied to policies: collecting money from people, or giving money to states so they can give money to people who qualify for food stamps, or making covid tests available to people.

Usually, our experience of government technology is that it’s out of date or slow or unreliable. Certainly not as shiny as what we see in the private sector. And that technology changes very, very slowly, if it happens at all. 

It’s not as if people don’t realize these systems could do with modernization. In my experience troubleshooting and modernizing government systems in California and the federal government, I worked with Head Start, Medicaid, child welfare, and logistics at the Department of Defense. Some of those systems were already undergoing modernization attempts, many of which were and continue to be late, over budget, or just plain broken. But the changes that are needed to make other systems more modern were frequently seen as too risky or too expensive. In other words, not important enough. 

Of course, some changes are deemed important enough. The covid-19 pandemic and our unemployment insurance systems offer good examples. When covid hit, certain critical government technologies suddenly became visible. Those systems, like unemployment insurance portals, also became politically important, just like the launch of the Affordable Care Act website (which is why it got so much attention when it was botched). 

Political attention can change everything. During the pandemic, suddenly it wasn’t just possible to modernize and upgrade government systems, or to make them simpler, clearer, and faster to use. It actually happened. Teams were parachuted in. Overly restrictive rules and procedures were reassessed and relaxed. Suddenly, government workers were allowed to work remotely and to use Slack.