Forgive me, father
You’re rolling the cube everytime you decide up a sport with “Simulator” within the title. Is that this going to be an try at precisely translating one thing right into a online game, or is it going to desert all motive and current some kind of unhinged parody? Priest Simulator is unquestionably within the latter class, however somewhat than simply having some wacky controls that make the entire efficiency absurd, it goes just a few steps additional, right into a storm drain, and will get washed out to sea.
You technically stand up to some priest enterprise in Priest Simulator. One might additionally argue that you just even play as a priest. Perhaps my information of priestly happenings is skewed indirectly, however when you requested me what a priest does, my reply can be: not this.
Priest Simulator (Steam Early Entry)
Developer: Asmodev
Writer: Final Video games
Launched: October 6, 2022
MSRP: $19.99
You play the sport as a picket vampire demon named Orlok, who’s hell-bent on web fame. Throughout an try at accumulating footage, he and his girlfriend are shot from the depths of Hell into Poland, the place a Muppet-like parson instantly performs an exorcism on him to attempt to please his personal parishioners. Orlok, too humiliated to return to Hell with out his vampire powers, decides to do completely something anybody says within the hopes that he’ll ultimately have his energy restored. He begins posing as a priest, as that appears to get him the respect he so thirstily needs.
Priest Simulator could sound completely ridiculous, and that’s as a result of it’s. Nevertheless, whereas the narrative appears nearly like a stream-of-consciousness trainwreck, it manages to be surprisingly insightful. You could count on it to be a heavy satire of organized faith, and it very a lot is, but it surely goes past that. Regardless of the picket look of many of the sport’s characters, its humorousness leans into the “are we not all wretched?” kind of commentary.
The antagonists, the Shatonists, are a bunch of jerks who’re as much as no good, however the parish are hardly paragons themselves. Actually, the opposing teams appear to be two sides of the identical coin. They appear to be competing extra for recognition than any kind of morality. If something, the Shatonists are extra overtly aggressive, whereas the Christians are underhanded.
Father Nosferatu
In the meantime, Orlok is simply serving to the Christians as a result of they provide him extra adulation, and the Shatonists are lead by his girlfriend’s ex, Diabolina. It’s even identified to Orlok that persons are profiting from his naivety, which he’s unable to see attributable to his personal hubris. That’s to not say that each character demonstrates these human flaws, however I’m undecided that’s actually the main target.
You additionally shouldn’t take from this that the narrative is confidently finished. Priest Simulator is in early entry, and whereas it’s a extra rounded expertise than I anticipated stepping into, one of many tough spots is in its storytelling. The dialogue is commonly extraordinarily uneven, and a few of it even appears lacking. At occasions, it seems like a joke is simply half developed as a result of the sport is in such a rush to get by. Briefly, the cutscenes really feel like they have to be touched up, and hopefully, they are going to be.
Talking of cutscenes, you may get pleasure from them subbed or dubbed. You’ll be able to have Polish voices with English subtitles or there’s full English audio (largely, there’s some spottiness with the interpretation in Early Entry.) Both approach is type of hilarious and appears to be finished by the identical voice actors. The actor who does Orlok is especially in line with each languages, although it does sound like they’re going to destroy their voice. It appears like they’ve a complete cat caught of their throat.
Are you there, God? It’s me, Orlok
Then again, loads of the programs within the sport are in a surprisingly developed state. Priest Simulator is one thing of an open-world sport, presenting a small playground to discover. You degree up your character by spreading Christianism throughout the city. Play for lengthy sufficient, and also you’ll go to varied homes to carry out exorcisms, take confessions, and presumably give sermons. You may also improve each the church itself and your personal weapons.
There’s truly a good quantity of content material within the Early Entry. The sport will be accomplished from starting to finish, however a lot of it nonetheless appears to be in a placeholder state. Virtually every little thing meant is there indirectly or one other, however the additional you go into the expertise, the extra issues really feel sketched out. Some mechanics aren’t effectively defined, others simply don’t match collectively fairly proper.
If something, I really feel like among the actions have to be fleshed out extra. It’s a bit too simple to grind your solution to a greater church, and the character-building system doesn’t appear to be wherever close to its remaining state. A few of it feels just like the fluff you’d discover in lots of open-world video games, which doesn’t jive all that effectively effectively with the weird premise. A lot of this might simply be stand-ins for the place extra artistic gameplay will ultimately be positioned, however extra meat might be wanted for all of the skeletons mendacity round.
Nobody’s working this entire factor
I ultimately determined to place Priest Simulator apart, as I felt like I acquired the gist of what the developer goes for, however felt that it might be higher skilled when it acquired nearer to their imaginative and prescient. There’s rather a lot right here, and I’d somewhat see the ultimate portrait than simply the sketch. Crucial takeaway, nevertheless, is that I’m undoubtedly desirous about circling again to it after its full launch. What’s current already is bordering on sensible, and if it will get the touchup it wants in some areas, it’ll be incredible.
In accordance with the developer, they plan on having Priest Simulator in an Early Entry state for about 4 to eight months, which looks as if an inexpensive period of time to buff it to perfection. Whether or not you resolve to look into it now or watch for its full launch, the distinctive imaginative and prescient and sharp humor are good causes to maintain it in your radar.
[This scoreless review is based on an Early Access build of the game provided by the publisher.]
Zoey Handley
Zoey is a gadabout gaming hobbyist. She’s been taking part in video video games all her life and is a lover of each new and retro video games. She enjoys digging within the filth and choosing out the video games which can be completely superb when you clear them up a bit.
