If you’re a red-blooded, burger-chompin’, freedom-lovin’ American, you gotta check out Donald Trump Junior’s innovative new company, GrabAGun.
Calling itself “the Amazon of Guns,” GrabAGun is revolutionizing the way Americans hoard firearms, offering shoppers a virtual arsenal of pistols, shotguns, rifles, and muzzleloaders shipped straight to their front door.
Though there are nearly 78,000 brick and mortar gun dealers in the US — more than the number of McDonald’s, Burger Kings, Subways, and Wendy’s stores combined — GrabAGun is entirely online. That’s pretty hip!
But how is this different from the thousands of other eCommerce gun websites already on the web, you ask? Well, this one’s traded on the New York Stock Exchange, for one. And in case you missed it, Donald Trump Jr is sitting on the executive board. Is that enough for you?
Because it sure wasn’t for investors, who snubbed GrabAGun when it opened for public trading on the NYSE Wednesday morning.
“To be able to come back to the New York Stock Exchange and actually take a gun company public feels like such a vindication of all the insanity, all of the ‘woke’ nonsense that we’ve been watching and facing for the last decade in America,” Trump Jr told Fox Business before the markets opened.
After ringing the opening bell — but not before starting a chant of “USA! USA!” — Trump Jr got a front-row seat to watch his pet project plummet into the ground.
Though shares of GrabAGun opened at $21.40 — under the cutesy ticker “PEW,” no less — they quickly dropped around 24 percent after a short spike, ending the day at $13.20. Shares slid further the second day, to around $10.2o at the time of writing, though Trump Jr’s equity compensation is still worth a little over $3 million.
However, while Trump Jr’s dopey antics are like a siren song for the mainstream press — remember that horrific photo of him brandishing a severed elephant’s tail? — GrabAGun’s stock flop might have more to do with its merger with Colombier Acquisition Corp. II, a special purpose acquisition company, or SPAC.
A SPAC is basically a shortcut to taking a company public. First, executives raise money through a shell company — $179 million, in this case — then merge with the entity looking to fast-track an IPO, in this case GrabAGun.
Financial analysts have argued that, after a merger, SPACs almost always result in negative returns for all but the earliest investors, making them the weapon of choice for sleazy celebrity dealmakers like Trump Jr. Though he’ll likely still sit on the board for the foreseeable future, it’s pretty obvious that GrabAGun is yet another cynical cash-grab by Trump senior’s darling boy.
The likelihood of GrabAGun rallying seems slim, especially given the noxious stigma SPACs have earned over the past five years. But as far as the president’s spawn is concerned, it seems the apple hasn’t fallen too far from the tree.
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